Tired of working on myself I will now be unapologetically insane
When I see dead people and funeral and when I hear how anxious that person is when he dies, I just mutter “if only I died first”.
I remember when an Australian company rejected me because my psychological test results showed zero empathy. All day long I pensive in the car, again contemplating myself, I who did not try to change anything from myself was imagining my childhood at that time.
I’ve grown to be a loner, I’ve never tried to make friends. Since I was a child, I received rejection from the society where I lived, the reason being because of my way of thinking and because of my mother. Yes my mother. If I think about it again, I’m more like my mother, maybe 80% I’m like her, the rest is just a little bit like my father. Ironic indeed, I hate my mother but my character is exactly like her. I just realized it today, that’s why I’m writing.
I remember when I was 5 years old, and my classmates wouldn’t want to play with me because their mother forbade it. Their mothers said if they played with me, they would be sacrificed, because my parents are satanists. My mother did wear a lot of jewelry, and it is a lot. My mother likes to show off, she is temperamental, she has a loud voice when she speaks, just like me. From there I hate people. It’s so clear, I can remember it very clearly.
I don’t easily trust people — hardly trust people, I hate where I come from, I hate my nationality, I hate everything and it’s so real. I’m not a nice person, and I admit it. Tired of working on myself I will now be unapologetically insane.
She’s never where she is. She’s only inside her head.