Dian, why delay?

Di
1 min readJan 20, 2022

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Just because I can’t explain the feelings causing my anxiety, doesn’t make them less valid.

I have what more than others have, I guess so. Then whats? what makes me always bored. Repeating the same things? I’ve been through those shit since I graduated college, so what? is it a big deal? Nah. then what? what makes me such a fool who doesn’t do anything?

How long has it been since I last smoked marijuana? How long has it been since I last did drugs? I guess if I wasn’t a loser I’d be proud to be an junkie. Ah why am I still living in Indonesia. I guess I’m too stupid to move my ass out of here.

I wish I can sleep and never wake up.

What’s the point of lying about anything? We could keep being too afraid to say we don’t know stuff and then the future will come and eat us anyway and we’ll regret not doing all that stuff we wished we did. She didn’t need to be saved. She needed to be found and appreciated for exactly who she was. What was it?

You don’t care what’s coming .. You don’t care what’s coming .. You don’t care what’s coming … No one feel like they belong, you know?

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Di

I write because it releases all the ugliness that I could never say and all the beauty I can’t share in any other form or way.